Cheating, if it really is cheating, and not a desire to play on your delicate nerves, offers everyone a ready-made and very limited set of feelings, emotions and actions. Shock, disappointment, hysteria, loss of trust, orientation and meaning in life. If you experience all of these, you are not original. Everything is like everyone else.
What if my husband or beloved boyfriend cheated?
If you know the "wrong" just recently, then life is on your side. Thank her for saving you from someone who could hurt you even more in the future. Be glad that everything was resolved with minimal losses for you and so soon. There are two ways for couples.
The first is to leave without agreeing to anything. Never be second in line. Go through the period of living problems and let go, end the relationship.
The second is to stay, compromise, develop a habit of tolerance and forgiveness.
In any case, everyone can and should draw their meaningful and unique life experience from the current situation. The main thing is not to lead to the manifestation of the standard behavioral package, laid down at the level of instincts in each of us. And try to rise above the situation, understand and realize why it happened, why exactly with you?
Cheating in a relationship
Today, there are many different opinions regarding the reasons for the ongoing betrayal. Many say that women are always looking for strong males, that a guilty husband or wife is very useful things in the household. That men are polygamous, they are conquerors seeking to conquer new girls, sometimes to catch up or for bravado.
However, sex often has nothing to do with it. All these conversations are designed to force you to accept the rules of life from the perspective of a primitive thinking being.
In the past twenty years, the fact that the cause of the events taking place is within us has been falling or deliberately ignored.
The human mind develops endlessly. Therefore, each person receives his life lessons in order to either work on mistakes, or continue to step on the same rake for the rest of his life.
Regardless of what decision you make, it is important to think about what happened, to figure out what is happening with your relationship.
Why did he start cheating? To lie? Avoid. What prompted him to betray?
To answer these questions, think about it, analyze your life together, relationships. Work, love, life, home, children are inextricably linked with each other.
Recognize that the world has always been and will continue to be a reflection of your thoughts, words and deeds. Perhaps he lacked your love, affection, sexual relations, care, or you tortured him with jealousy, reproaches for trifles.
Ask yourself the question at what point the picture of your ideal family world in your mind began to collapse. And why?
It is important to understand where all this could come from and fall on your head. Nothing just happens. Surely, the relationship between you has long gone through not the best, or rather, cold times... Disappeared kissing, compliments, touches, hugs, sincere conversations and attention.
Suppose that you yourself have “played” a similar situation (betrayal) more than once in your thoughts, as a likely consequence of your scandals, or maybe you have always been afraid of this. Plus, you know very well that there are two people involved in conflicts. Perhaps the huge gaping wound in his soul after the scandals just served as an impetus, first - misunderstanding, then - betrayal.
Recognize that your partner is an independent person, free to do as he sees fit, and not a thing that you acquired sometime and somewhere, not an attachment to your convenience, earned by back-breaking labor. Men are also people who have the same feelings and emotions, can be offended, fall in love, just like you.
Take some time to read Steve Harvey's book "Act Like a Woman, Think Like a Man" to better understand the actions and thoughts of your man.
It is very difficult to rise above the situation, not everyone is given this, but it is possible.
Try to imagine that he is not your partner at all, but your own child, entangled in circumstances. If you cannot see the situation in this vein, then the advice is the same - leave, as mentioned above, and wait until he himself wants to come to you and discuss everything. Taking a break will help you recover morally and energetically. After all, it is difficult to resolve a conflict when it hurts and passions boil. But at the same time, you do not need to hide that you do not need to know everything. On the contrary, the sooner you make it clear that you know everything, the better.
It is good if next to you at this moment there is not a “friend” or “girlfriend” who will advise in every possible way to take revenge, but a person who understands you and really wishes you well. Ideally, if it is a man who knows your partner well.
Straight Talk
Talk. Talk to him about how you are feeling. Talk about what you want. Talk about what he wants. Talk to him about everything! If the discussion is open and honest, there will never be any unpleasant surprises. You both need to understand that a relationship of trust is important for both partners' peace of mind, for raising children, and for family prosperity. Mutual trust is the foundation of any relationship. Husband and wife are no exception.
If you decide to let go of your loved one, try to forgive and not blame, but accept him as he is.
